Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Martek]

The future of nursery rhyme.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring
Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
'Pies you dumb arse!'

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
And turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

 

[MajicKwak]

 

I'm stealing them for my work email.

 

[truescot]

mary had a little lamb
its fleace was red as red
the reason for this was
there was a pick-axe in its head

[zx10rmark]

  nice one lads.

[Wheeltrax]

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cuboard to fetch the poor doggy a bone.
When she bent over up popped Rover and gave her a bone of his own.

[zxbatch]

 

[Wheeltrax]

Baah, Baah black sheep. Have you any wool?
What the f++k d 'ya think this is, Scotch mist?

[budda10r]

Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a Duck.
She put them on the mantle piece.
To see if they would FFF Fall off.


Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a bear.
Iv'e often seen her little lamb.
But Iv'e never seen her bare.

[Andy J]

brilliant 

[truescot]

mary had a little lamb
its fleece was blue as blue
the reason for this was it
had been sniffing on some glue

[Andy J]

Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor was surprised.

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
But Jill prefers,
The candlestick.

[budda10r]

Not a nursery rhyme and not for kids but funny still (bit crude mind).

In tune to the Beverly Hillbillies.

Now let me tell ya a story bout a man named Jed.
Who went for a wank behind the garden shed.
He saw Ellie May standin in the nude.
When out from his dick came bubbling crude.




SPERM........................That is!

Well the next thing ya know.
Old Jed's in bed.
Shaggin Ellie May till his balls turned red.
When in came grannie with fuck all to do.



Hop on Grannie, I'll fuck you tooo!