Don't ask Grandma silly questions
Lawyers should never ask grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Wilks. I've
known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big
disappointment to me.
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on
his wife with three different women.
One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a
quiet voice said:
"If either of you f#ckers asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you to the electric chair."
