MALE V FEMALE
AT THE CASH MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank reads:
'Please
note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash
machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without
leaving their vehicles.
Customers
using this new facility are
requested
to use the procedures outlined below when accessing
their accounts.
After
months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures
have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps
for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE
PROCEDURE:
1...
Drive up to the cash machine.
2.
LOWER your car window.
3.
Insert card into machine and enter
PIN.
4.
Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6.
Raise window.
7.
Drive off.
*************************
******
FEMALE
PROCEDURE:
1.
Drive up to cash machine.
2.
Reverse and back up the required amount to align car
window with the machine.
3.
Put hand brake on, put the window down.
4.
Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat
to locate card.
5.
Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and
hang up.
6.
Attempt to insert card into machine.
7.
Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to
its excessive distance from the car.
8.
Insert card.
9.
Re-insert card the right way.
10.
Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written
on the inside back page.
11.
Enter PIN .
12.
Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13.
Enter amount of cash required.
14.
Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15.
Retrieve cash and receipt.
16.
Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash
inside.
17.
Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in
back of it.
18.
Re-check makeup.
19.
Drive forward 2 feet.
20.
Reverse back to cash machine.
21.
Retrieve card.
22.
Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder,
and place card into the slot provided!
23.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind
you.
24.
Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25.
Redial person on mobile phone.
26.
Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27.
Release Hand Brake.
Im gonna get some shit for this one
