Defence Attorney
:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady
:
I am 76 years old.
Defence Attorney
:
Will you tell us, in your own words,
What happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady
:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney
:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady
:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Little Old Lady
:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defence Attorney
:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady
:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defence Attorney
:
Why not?
Little Old Lady
:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Horace died some 20 years ago.
Defence Attorney
:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady
:
He began to touch my breasts.
Defence Attorney
:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady
:
No, I certainly did not!
Defence Attorney
:
Why ever not?
Little Old Lady
:
His touching made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defence Attorney
:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady
:
Well, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady
:
Hell, no! He just yelled,
'April Fool!'
And that's when I shot him, the little bastard
