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[bikerchick82]

Extracts from a dogs diary.....



8:00 am - Dog food!  My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride!  My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park!  My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!  My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch!  My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail!  My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones!  My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball!  My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow!  Watched TV with the people!  My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!  My favourite thing!


Extracts from a cats diary...



Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.  Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.........

[MajicKwak]

Which is why I hate cats 

[truescot]

Which is why I hate cats 

wait till one scratches u which gives u with a lump the size of an avacado on your groin

[Andy J]

aye , so summarised

Dogs are stoopid and Cats are prisoners, hardly, they're clever litlle scrotes who have a free life, sort of confused me there it's not like they can't come and go as they please           

[pat]

Or as I once read : 

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

[tony83]

 

[arek PL]

 
good one

[Si-10R]

  

[davemfox]

 

Dave

[crazy-zx10r]

 

[Happygirl]

 
Excellent...........
 

you can just see it in their eyes..... a kind of bored tolerance .... furry little %4*^&ers lol 

[bikerchick82]

All I can see of my cat at this moment in time is a huge pair of bollox and two back legs....

The stupid fecker is upside down on my lap 

I've just remembered why I like dogs so much