Imagine if all major retailers started making their own Condoms and
kept the same tag-line...
Sainsbury Condoms- making life taste better
Tesco Condoms -every little helps
Nike Condoms -Just do it.
Peugeot Condoms -The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms -Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your Hands.
Safeway Condoms -Lightening the load.
Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated Enough.
Coca Cola condoms- The real thing.
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
Pringles condoms- once you pop, you cant stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms- for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required.
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's ThePain.
Halfords condoms- we go the extra mile.
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms -Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms size really does matter!
Ronseal condoms -does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof In 30 minutes
Domestos condoms- gets right under the rim!!! (Eeeuww!!.....)
Heineken condoms- reaches parts that other condoms just Cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms- probably the best condom in the World
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Mini Condoms - Its a mini adventure
Mr Muscle Condoms - Loves the jobs you hate
Pepperami condoms- it's a bit of an animal
Polo condoms -the condom with the hole
The Manchester United Condom... One Yank and your whole World falls
apart
**************
Why Condoms Come In Boxes Of 3, 6, and 12 ?
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad? To
which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,
son."
"Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.
"Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why
are there 3 in this package? " The dad replies,"Those are for high
school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy.
He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for
college men," the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and
TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a
12 pack!
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the
married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....etc."
************************
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his
wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by
then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
" A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to
forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray
for Strength I'll just beat him to death "
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they
find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit
onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as
he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a
piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is
driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of
YOUR stick, we'd be on the bus .. so shut the hell up."
![[rofl]](http://forum.zx10r.co.uk/Smileys/default/ROTFLMAO.gif)
