> SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
>>
>> What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>> Juan on Juan
>> What is the difference between
>> a Harley and a Hoover ?
>> The position of the dirt bag
>> Why is divorce so expensive?
>> Because it's worth it.
>> What do you see when the
>> Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>> Doughnuts?
>> Why is air a lot like sex?
>> Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
>> What do you call a smart blonde?
>> A golden retriever.
>> What do attorneys use for birth control?
>> Their personalities.
>> What's the difference between
>> a girlfriend and wife?
>> 45 lbs
>> What's the difference between
>> a boyfriend and husband?
>> 45 minutes
>> What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>> Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>> Why do men want to marry virgins?
>> They can't stand criticism.
>> Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
>> and good-looking?
>> Because those men already have boyfriends.
>> What's the difference between
>> a new husband and a new dog?
>> After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
>> What makes men chase women
>> they have no intention of marrying?
>> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
>> driving.
>> Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>> Because they have cotton balls.
>> What's the difference between
>> a porcupine and BMW?
>> A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
>> !
>> What did the blonde say when
>> she found out she was pregnant?
>> "Are you sure it's mine?"
>> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>> Mace will do that to you.
>> Why did OJ Simpson want to
>> move to West Virginia ?
>> Everyone has the same DNA.
>> Why do men find it difficult
>> to make eye contact?
>> Breasts don't have eyes.
>> Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
>> He walks around saying "Yo."
>> Why do drivers' education
>> classes in Redneck schools
>> use the car only on Mondays,
>> Wednesdays and Fridays?
>> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>> Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>> A different bar.
>> Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
>> They named him "Sum Ting Wong
>> What would you call it when
>> an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
>> A speech impediment.
>> What does it mean when the
>> flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
>> They're hiring.
>> What's the difference between
>> a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>> A southern zoo has a description of the animal
>> on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
>> How do you get a sweet little
>> 80-year-old lady to say the
>> F-word?
>> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>> What's the difference between
>> a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
>> A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
>> A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s....t"
>> Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
>> No one's tall enough to go on rides.
