Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell
phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and
begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new
2004 models I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted
last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just
offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men
in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks:
"Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
-----------------------------
It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35
years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same
neighbourhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted
by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and
sent him on his way with a gift cheque for $500.
At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in an
18-carat gold box.
The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch
whisky.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde
in her lingerie.She took him by the arm and led him up the
stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most
passionate love he had ever experienced.When he had had enough they went
downstairs, where the dumb blonde fixed him with a giant breakfast:
eggs, tomatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles and freshly-squeezed
orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup
of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a $5 note
sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just
too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five dollars for?"
"Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that
today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for
you".
"I asked him what to give you". He said, "F*ck him. Give him five
bucks."
She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
![[rofl]](http://forum.zx10r.co.uk/Smileys/default/ROTFLMAO.gif)
Dave
