a farmer was in his tractor plowing a field, all day long he plowed away completely bored out of his mind,
so, to keep his boredom at bay he started thinking about sex.
this went on for an hour or two, until, frustrated he could take no more.
he pulled the tractor up to the nearest hedge, jumped out of the cab, pulled down his pants and
started to jack off.
after about two minutes there was a voice behind him,-'oi!, you can't do that here, i was trying to have a kip'
the farmer looked round and saw a tramp with a mangey old dog next to him.
'well, it's my land' said the farmer
'so what' said the tramp, 'i'm gonna tell everyone including your wife what you've been upto'
'you can't' said the farmer,'i'm a respectable pillar of the community'
the tramp said 'buy my dog and i'll shut me mouth'
'but your dog is terrible' said farmer, 'look at it, it's got one eye, three legs,half a tail and it's covered in mangey old fur, and it stinks'
the tramp said 'give me two hundred quid and i'll keep my peace'
so the farmer handed over the two hundred hush money and the tramp left.
that night in the local tavern the farmer walked in through the door with the dog.
the whole pub turned round and burst out laughing, the landlord in the pub said 'where did get that dog?'
the farmer said 'i bought it'
'how much did you pay for that mangey old mutt?'
'two hundred' said the farmer,
Fucking hell' the landlord said, 'someone must of seen you coming!'
