While walking on Hampstead Heath, a man came across another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he asked, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.
"You've got to be kiddin' me!"
"No, would you like to give it a try?"
Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.
Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the hell happened to you?"
He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said:
"This just ain't gonna be your day, cup cake"
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duly nicked from the motoforum...
