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Author Topic: models explained by cows...  (Read 3188 times)

supergirl

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models explained by cows...
« on: August 19, 2007, 02:04:44 AM »

haha, gotchya! economic models, but still funny/clever/a classic:


SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive
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slapknacker

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2007, 07:49:41 AM »

jesus thats a lot of cows funny though so have a bhp :icon_thumleft:

heres another slightly comical one,

when i was workin in dublin a fella said to me when you head
out on the Nass road you can see a factory making and printing
the newspaper as the building is glass fronted,

to that i replied nice, back home i said if i drive north through
Wolverhampton to join the m6 there is a large feild full of
cows and you can see them making cheese and milk!

yer man looked at me as if i had lost the plot, but thats just me
having my usual banter :lol:
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supergirl

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2007, 11:33:53 AM »

lol cheers dude, have 1 back x
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GRNINJA

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2007, 12:21:45 PM »

nice one Gabs + BHP

Darren you lost me for a short while  :icon_scratch:

but then I come back  [rofl] [rofl] [rofl]
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Andy J

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2007, 02:54:03 PM »

both made me laugh especially the Welsh one Gabs  [rofl] [rofl] [rofl]   +bhp

A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive
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supergirl

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2007, 05:37:19 PM »

both made me laugh especially the Welsh one Gabs  [rofl] [rofl] [rofl]   +bhp

A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive

cheers, +1 4 u lot, 2 :)  [rofl]

i was wondering if anyone would see the duplicity in showing 'British' and 'Welsh', or the nullity of the Welsh having either a model or any economic sense (i dont moot the ownership of bovine sheep shaggers)...

see...horny gabs can be intellectual gabs too...*cough*...

p.s. there is a very moral reason why i am allowed to slate the welsh. its personal and i dont admit it often, but i have before, here. so here goes...
















my mum is welsh...
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SaffieD

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2007, 07:30:33 PM »

Hey - I like Welsh women!!!! :tongue3:






But then again........ I like most women......... :downtown:
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MajicKwak

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2007, 09:33:19 PM »

A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive


Sorry Gabs, you have that completely wrong, I know I'm Welsh and proud of it.

It should read
A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. If I sell one cow, can I get 7 sheep (One for each day of the week)
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Jon177

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2007, 09:34:55 PM »

A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive


Sorry Gabs, you have that completely wrong, I know I'm Welsh and proud of it.

It should read
A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. If I sell one cow, can I get 7 sheep (One for each day of the week)


Ian i must say your sheep look mighty fine in a yellow thong :lol:
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MajicKwak

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2007, 09:50:49 PM »

[
Ian i must say your sheep look mighty fine in a yellow thong :lol:

And do you like my branding iron as well  :lol:
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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

 I hate people who take drugs... Customs men for example...

Jon177

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2007, 09:57:39 PM »

[
Ian i must say your sheep look mighty fine in a yellow thong :lol:

And do you like my branding iron as well  :lol:

Yeah like your mum sewing your name in your shirts as a kid, no one will get mixed up
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supergirl

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2007, 10:05:45 PM »

A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive


Sorry Gabs, you have that completely wrong, I know I'm Welsh and proud of it.

It should read
A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. If I sell one cow, can I get 7 sheep (One for each day of the week)


maybe, dude, but whatever frackin animal it is, it will be raining on it.

if its any consolation i diss most of the stereotypes that might be afforded to me: welshness, femininity, class...and its all tongue in cheek...a facial one and my own that is, mind...  [whistle]
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Andy J

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2007, 11:18:28 PM »

I'm not welsh but have lived just inside the Welsh border for 15 years ............ I bloody love Wales  :hello2: great roads, free funding for training if you get made redundant   :hello2:, council actaully acts when I moan about potholes and all in all it's a great place to be   :headbang:

.
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maybe the sheep attraction will grow on me  [rofl]
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big_gaz

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2007, 03:36:52 PM »

Gabs, that was very amusing..
take a BHP as well, (your total is screaming up)
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supergirl

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Re: models explained by cows...
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2007, 06:13:44 PM »

Gabs, that was very amusing..
take a BHP as well, (your total is screaming up)

1 4 u 2 dude x
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