Three Drunks are sitting in a pub....
"This pub is shite" says the first drunk; "Where I come from there is a much better pub called 'MacDougals' - you go in there and buy a drink, then you buy another drink, and then MacDougal himself will buy you your third drink!"
The second drunk says: "That sounds like a nice pub, but where I come from there's an even better one called Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink . You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink - it's brilliant!"
The third drunk looks at the other two with a squiffy look of indignation. "You call them pubs good? Wait 'til you hear about the pub where I come from" he says. "There's this Pub called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink. Then, they buy you your second drink. Then they even buy you your third drink, and after that they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That sounds too good - has that really happened to you?"
"Well, No" replies the third drunk "but it happened to my sister".