Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing
off a cliff in your new car.
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Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out
your own name.
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Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will
actually search for a golf ball
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Q.Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it!
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Q. What is a Yankee? A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
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Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? A. They both like a
tight seal.
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Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? A. Their balls
are just for decoration.
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Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"? A. About three
inches.
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Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms? A. For traction in the mud.
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Q: What's the difference between purple and pink? A. The grip.
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Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A. It's not hard.
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Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 pounds.
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Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45
minutes.
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Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't
have eyes.
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Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? A.
The swallow.
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Q: What is the difference between medium and rare? A: Six inches is
medium, eight inches is rare.
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Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A . They
don't have balls to scratch!