Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other man pulls out his mobile phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen."
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."