A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer won't be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap three-year-old house scotch instead. The man takes a sip, spits the scotch out on the bar and screams at the bartender: "This is the cheapest three-year-old scotch you can buy. I'm not paying for it. Now, give me a good 12-year-old scotch." The bartender, now enjoying the challenge, pours the man a slightly better six-year-old scotch. Again, the man takes a sip and spits it out on the bar. "This is only six-year-old scotch. I won't pay for this. I insist on a good, 12-year-old scotch." The bartender finally relents and serves the man his best quality, 12-year-old scotch. At that point, an old drunk, who has witnessed the entire episode from the end of the bar, walks up to the expert scotch drinker and sets a glass down in front of him. "What do you think of this?" he asks. The guru takes a sip, and in disgust, spits out the yellow liquid, yelling: "It tastes like piss!" "That's right," says the drunk, "Now tell me how old I am."