A bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he
wants.
"I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick
the sweat from between your tits," he says.
"You dirty ******* !!" shouts the barmaid.
"Get out before I call my husband !!"
The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his
gaffe.
The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he
wants.
"I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt
between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off."
She says, "You dirty filthy pervert !! You're
banned. Get out !!"
Again, the bloke apologizes and swears never ever to do
it again.
"One more chance," says the barmaid. "Now
what do you want ?"
"I want to turn you upside down, tear your knickers
off and fill your fanny with Guinness, and then drink every
last drop from that hairy cup."
The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and
runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting
quietly watching the telly.
"What's up, Love ?" he asks.
"There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his
head between my tits and lick the sweat off," she says.
"I'll kill him. Where is he ?" storms the
husband.
"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between
my arse cheeks and lick it off," she screams.
"Right. He's dead !!" says the husband,
reaching for a cricket bat.
"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill
my fanny with Guinness and then drink it all," she
cries.
The husband puts down his bat and returns to his
armchair, and switches the telly back on.
"Aren't you going to do something about it?"
she cries hysterically.
"Look, Love. I'm not messing with any bloke who
can drink 15 pints of Guinness
