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Author Topic: New Diet  (Read 811 times)

HammyUK

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New Diet
« on: March 07, 2009, 10:53:31 AM »

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.


I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food?
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I don't need 200BHP.........................ask the guys behind me!

Wheeltrax

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Re: New Diet
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2009, 11:45:49 AM »

Brilliant! my kind of humour.
Have a BHP  :icon_thumleft:
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If it aint broken fix it till it is  :tongue3:

MajicKwak

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Re: New Diet
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2009, 12:31:38 AM »

Was in Butlins Minehead last weekend queing up for food at silly o' clock in the morning when an attractive young lady walked up to where I was and said
"I'm starving, dont' you think I need feeding?"
to which I replied
"Yeah, I'm starving as well, I'm bloody anorexic!"
Anway her mate came over who was a littel more chunky and giving it the big I am said
"Which one called you anorexic?"
I said
"Typical blonde, can't even take an insult correctly!"
she said
"Oooh, can you call me anorexic as well?"
so I did but added
"It looks like it's been in remission for some time now though love!"

Needless to say, neither of them wanted to come back and chat with me again.
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I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

 I hate people who take drugs... Customs men for example...
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