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Author Topic: This made me laugh  (Read 2452 times)

Si-10R

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This made me laugh
« on: March 04, 2007, 08:42:53 PM »

 [rofl] [rofl] [rofl] [rofl]

Don't Take men shopping!!!

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or

boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tescos Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card,
the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your
family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code
3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they          would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed
the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again.

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while;
then yelled, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager 
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GRNINJA

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2007, 09:02:25 PM »

I know what i am doing next time I am going shopping :pottytrain2:
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Andy J

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2007, 09:55:28 PM »

14 is superb  [rofl] [rofl]
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MajicKwak

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2007, 10:07:36 PM »

Done similar to 1 and 12 in the past.


Also the other one I used to do quite regularly was put Baby's Nappies in peoples trolleys when they were'nt looking.  If they caught me, I used to say "Oh I'm so sorry I thought that was our trolley, typical she just wanders off and expects me to look for her."  and carry on mumbling to myself as I walk away.

When I worked as a chef in a pub, we used to do about 200 breakfasts on a Saturday morning so every Friday afternoon I used to do a bread run to Tesco and we used to pick bread up by the crates.  One time the woman behind me was staring and I said "Have you not heard the news?  The Bakers Union are going on strike from midnight tonight!"  she turned arounda nd went back for another 5 loaves  [rofl] [rofl]
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Si-10R

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2007, 08:11:10 AM »

The Bakers Union are going on strike from midnight tonight!"  she turned arounda nd went back for another 5 loaves  [rofl] [rofl]


 [rofl] [rofl] [rofl]
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davemfox

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2007, 08:13:28 AM »

lol, class  :icon_thumright:  [rofl]

Dave
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horse

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2007, 10:18:02 AM »

 :icon_thumright: :icon_thumleft: [rofl] [pray]
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