Newsflash:
Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented
a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples
from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of
men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.
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A man walked into his house with a duck under his arm and said
"this is the pig I've been shagging".
His wife said "that's not a pig you idiot, it's a duck!"
Man says "I was talking to the duck!"
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NOW THIS IS DRUNK
A drunk walks out of an office and onto the roadway with a key
in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees
him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner is
hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and,
without missing a beat, blurts out.......... "I'll be damned -
My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"
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Dave