Paddy had been drinking all day and night in his local Dublin pub to celebrate st.patricks day, Mick the bartender says "you'll not be drinking anymore tonight paddy"
Paddy replies "OK then Mick, oil be on me way then" and spins round on his stool and steps off, then falls flat on his face "shoite" he pulls hiself up by the stall, dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again.
"shoite"
"shoite"
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself if he can get some fresh air he'll feel better,he belly crawls to the door shimmies up the doorframe a sticks his head outside for some air, feeling better he takes a step onto the path and falls flat on his face.
"bi jaysus, i'm focking focked!!" he says
He's see's his house just a few doors down and crawls to the front door, shimmies up the door frame opens the door and crawls inside, he takes a look at the stairs and says "no focking way" he crawls up the stairs to his bedroom and says "i can make it to the bed" he takes a step into the bedroom and falls flat on his face "Fock it!" he says and falls onto the bed.
The following morning his wife Jess comes into the bedroom carrying a cup of coffee and says "Get up Paddy, had a few to drink last night then?"
"I did Jess" Paddy said "I was absolutely focking focked, how did you know?"
"Mick phoned" Jess said "you left your wheelchair at the pub"
