Undertaker says to bereaved husband.."When did you realise ur wife was dead?" "Well..." he replied. "Sex was still the same but he dishes kept piling up"
The SAS are trying to train Barrack Obama what do if under attack. But everytime they say "get down" the twat starts dancing.
Tommy Cooper dies on stage doing what he does best. Steve Irwin died in the ocean doing what he does best. Don't ave a wank 2nite mate, I'm worried about u
What has Frankie Dettori got that Gary Glitter wants? A licence to ride 3yr olds
Went into Bargain Booze ealier and a polish man asked if I could recommend a good port. I said "Dover now fuck off"!
I've just been to my first muslim birthday party. Musical chairs was a bit slow but F**k me, pass the parcel was quick.
A bloke walks up to a bird in a nite club and says "Hi, my names Bond". "Don't tell me..." she says..." is it James". He said "No...UNI, I'm here to fill yer crack"
